Amidst all the codswallop, this blog does give some gyaan. Occasionally. Major decisions are rarely easy to make. This blog post goes out to all of you who cannot choose your major, letting you know that there is somebody out there who can help you. For those of you who already have, all we can do is hope you have chosen well, and that the Force may be with you when you find yourself like this.
1. BuzzFeed Quizzes are out.
Do you sometimes find your cursor having a mind of its own, navigating BuzzFeed like there’s no tomorrow? Well, it may just be time to stop. Apart from finding out what kind of French fry you are, these quizzes will not bring you enlightenment. If Buddha didn’t need Buzzfeed, you don’t either.
Be warned that these quizzes thrive on feeding you what you want to hear. Best subject in school was Biology? Don’t be surprised when they (like all your helpful and greying uncles and aunties) tell you Pre-med’s the way to go.
2. Leave love out of it.
Choosing the same major as your significant other just because you want to spend time with them has ‘REGRET‘ written all over it.
3. It’s not about the money money money.
Recession time, baby. Nobody has any money.
4. Chip Chops are a no no.
Remember those magical devices that could predict your future based on the colour you chose?
Well, they’re lies.
You may take a moment to mourn your ruined childhood.
If you think you can inky pinky ponky your way through college, you might as well be the donkey. And your father will cry when you’re still living off him at 40.
5. Take a hipster hiatus.
Don’t tread off the beaten path just for the hipster feels.
Majors in Pop Culture (Bowling Green State University), Nannying (Sullivan University), Packaging (Michigan State University and Puppetry (University of Connecticut) may sound cool, but one look at your CV will make the world go:
Unless you major in the Beatles (Liverpool Hope University). You’d be hired in a second. Note to self: Draft application for this major.
6. Happy headaches=haters.
Oh my God. You are just so amazingly proficient at everything you do. Yes, you’re a nice person blessed with hoards of talent. There are a million doors open for you, each with a 100 percent chance of success. And now you don’t know what to do with the rest of your life?
Well, serves you right. There’s only one piece of advice we give to those with first world problems:
7. Dodge the fortune tellers.
“Hundred rupees for your future.”
What! You got it done for fifty bucks? Where?
You’re confused about what to do with your life. Why don’t you go to a guy who reads the crevices of your palm to tell you what you want to hear for a quick buck?
You’re in college; you’re old enough to hear the truth.
8. Log out of Facebook.
It’s all well and good discussing major life decisions with close friends and family. But believe us when we say the rest of the 897 humans or frogs (Puddles just accepted OG Meghna’s friend request) on your friend list don’t really care and will not help you.
Unless of course, you consider comments like “Literature bro….will shakes 4evs!!!111!!!!!!!1” help.
9. Get out of TV mode.
Don’t take (too much) inspiration from all those TV shows and movies you binge watch. Blair Waldorf, as far as we could see, didn’t study a day in her life and made it to Yale.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but you live in the real world. Take our advice, don’t even think about it. XOXO
However, your major doesn’t always determine what you’ll do forever. High school and college dropouts become Members of Parliament and founders of billion dollar social networking sites. You could afford to mess this decision up.